


She's Kinda Punny

by RagingBookDragon



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Puns, Chases, Established Relationship, Funny, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27637907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagingBookDragon/pseuds/RagingBookDragon
Summary: “Oh, I was. But then I pissed him off, so he told me to piss off.” She grinned. “Not as politely as that though.”Haytham let out a sigh. “You’re supposed to be training with our newest member, not annoying him.”
Relationships: Shay Cormac/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	She's Kinda Punny

**Author's Note:**

> I figured some of us might need some light humor to get through the day/night/wherever we are right now. I hope this makes you smile and laugh! Enjoy! -Thorne

“(Y/N)?”

She shifted her gaze from the Assassin-Hunter to the Grandmaster walking over to her. A pleasant smile crossed her lips at seeing her dearest friend. “Haytham. Fancy seeing you here this early. Figured you’d be sporting your morning tea.”

His steel eyes narrowed in irritation, but a small smile crossed his lips. “I’ve already had my morning tea.”

(Y/N) nodded. “Ah, so afternoon tea then?”

“You’re not as funny as you’ve been eluded to believe.”

“Still funnier than you.”

He settled beside her against the wall, watching her eyes shift back to the other man. “Why aren’t you training with Shay?”

(Y/N) snorted. “Oh, I was. But then I pissed him off, so he told me to piss off.” She grinned. “Not as politely as that though.”

Haytham let out a sigh. “You’re supposed to be training with our newest member, not annoying him.”

She cocked her head to the side and stared at him. “Would you rather I be annoying _you_ , old friend?”

His mouth opened, but after a moment he snapped it shut and nodded. “That’s a fair point, (Y/N).”

“Thought so.”

They stood in silence, simply watching Shay until the latter noticed the presence of the Grandmaster. He set the wooden training sword down and walked over. “Afternoon Master Kenway. Didn’t expect to see you this early.”

(Y/N) grinned. “Funny, I said the same.”

Shay merely grunted at her response and Haytham couldn’t help but remark, “Dear God (Y/N). What did you do to him? He’s typically happy when he’s around you.”

She looked Shay over and crossed her arms over her chest. “I know, like a puppy who wants to play.” A devilish glint appeared in her eye and she feigned, “I guess he just got… _dog tired_ of me.”

Shay’s eye twitched and he cursed. “How have you not run out of _damn puns_ already!” He turned his attention to Haytham, pointing at her. “It’s been _nonstop puns_ since we got here! She’s managed to make one out of _everything_ I’ve said! It’s _ridiculous_!”

(Y/N) tutted at him. “So testy, Shay. However will you learn patience if you can’t take a simple joke.”

He glowered at her. "I am _this_ close, lass.”

“Perhaps we should sail to the North Atlantic, Shay.” She offered. “You know, so you can… _chill out_.”

Something snapped and he jerked towards her, but she was quick to hide behind Haytham, who was completely exasperated at their childish antics, keeping him between them. “ _Get back here_!”

She giggled and shoved Haytham towards the Irish Templar, who caught him, but now meant that she had two men running after her. She spun on her heel and took off for the door. “I think you should stop hunting sea life, Shay! It seems that it’s making you… _over-whale-med_!” His cry of anger made her cackle.

“I am going to shoot you with your own gun, (Y/N)!”

“You’re not going to shoot me with _yours_?” She flung the door open and turned to look at him with a salacious grin. “ _Trying to tell me I don’t cock your hammer back? Make your gun smoke_?”

Seeming to have lost all sense, he chased after her, leaving Haytham behind to sigh at them. “You’re gonna get it when I get my hands on you!”

“Oh! I get to be your… _handful_ , huh?”

“ **STOP MAKING PUNS**!”

“Why? Are you gonna… _punish_ _me_?”

“ **OH MY GOD**.”

***

“So, Grandmaster, have you heard the news around New York?”

Haytham didn’t even take his eyes off the book he was reading to answer Gist. “About the two colonists who were taken into custody by Regulars in Greenwich for public disturbance?”

“That would be the news, sir.”

“Hmm…” Haytham thought about it a moment then shook his head. “ _Nope. Haven’t heard a word about it_.”


End file.
